Granny Linda

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Posts by Granny Linda

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  25

  first timer...feelin like crap

  by Boolean in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey everyone....this this my first time on one of these forums... been out for short while, but i miss my family and the friends i grew up with.. feeling a little shitty.

  how did u cope with suddenly being cut off from the people that you love and depend on?.

  by the way, if your wondering about my nik, look it up, thats how my mind is right now.

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  Granny Linda
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  32

  If God doesn't exist, what's your future?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many here don't believe in god anymore so can't believe in any resurrection.

  so what do you expect once you die?.

  and if you believe that there is nothing after this life, are you working overtime in this life to get the most out of it because there is nothing after...

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  Granny Linda

  Good Morning.

  At the moment my future seems to be more wrinkles and gray hair. After this episode it's anyone's guess.

  I've gotten to the point in my life where pondering over the "what-if" in regards to what happens after death just isn't important. Oh, I'll have discussion at times with my husband, but basically I've learned that how I spend my time now is more important then what happens after I shed this body.

  My former husband always told me people fear death; period. So we have all sorts of belief systems that can support any idealogy that the individual finds comfort from. And I'm not going to judge those people today who need a belief in an after-life too find comfort from this life. I'm just busy taking each day as it comes with full knowledge that none of us escape this life without experiencing a physical death.

  Meanwhile I'm living life to the best of my ability. And it ain't bad.

  granny
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  47

  How do women do it ????? Do you have no self respect ?????

  by run dont walk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  125 years of the watchtower, and women are still considered garbage.. they cannot give talks, have a position in the congregation, cannot lead a study when a man is present, give a prayer etc etc etc etc.......... they can be of the annoited class, but a man who is a ms, still has more say !!!!!!!!!!.

  to all the women on this board, did this ever bother you as a jw, and does it bother you know ???.

  how can women sit at a meeting and in a round about way be treated like garbage and accept it ????

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  Granny Linda

  Growing up as a JW there certainly was not any genuine self-respect. Today though is a different story.

  I'm glad I would not fit into any "society" that would demean not only woman, but children. The old addage of "children should be seen and not heard" is not a healthy attitude either. I would agree that too much of what seems acceptable in our culture is Bible based - and outdated for our times.

  Perhaps it's not just about self-respect, but respect. Period. Having self-respect reflects in my speech and behavior towards others, too. Of course it's a puzzle to me how I see many woman allowing themselves to be treated as second rate in this day and age. And this from non-christian woman as well.

  As for woman playing football and/or other sports designed for men...who cares. Why aren't we taking pride in the abilities we have other than this great show of physical strength? What are we competing with men for in the first place...too declare some sort of "I'm as good as you?"

  Just tossing thoughts out at the moment...while I want a strong man in my life, I also reconize my own inner strength. And that is something only I could develope and nourish; a very foreign idea to JWs.

  Having developed a sense of self-pride allowed me to look around at how our men can suffer greatly, too. Generally I've gotten along well with men because they needed female input as I needed male input. (no pun intended)and it wasn't about submission or, being less than...it was about how we can compliment the other. Where one is weaker perhaps the other is stronger. Being united in purpose can accomplish more than buying into an old woren out mantra about "submission."

  Even for those stay-at-home women, the skills that are required to maintain a home, when put down on a resume' are pretty damn impressive. In closing out this long winded missive I'll go about my day of volunteer work remembering how we each contribute to the whole. I love men! I love woman, too. I love children, the elderly, my cats, my home, my grandchildren...ah shucks. I'm just in one of those "ain't it great to be alive" days.

  I also love the fact that because I'm female the men will be driving the forklift, moving tons of donated items around, lifting and heaving the physically heavy stuff while this woman takes care of the phone, the crowd, the cleaning up after the men...and making sure they are taken care of. Not because I think "it's my job" but because it makes me feel good about me...and the men appreciate my efforts.

  I love ya'll, too.

  granny
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  20

  Depression, Suicide, Abusive Parents

  by kitties_and_horses_oh_my! in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my first time posting...i've been lurking for awhile.

  i "faded away" in september and my mental health has greatly improved, although i still struggle with a somewhat-controlled eating disorder.

  i have a long history of mental health problems, from the time i was about 20. i was raised "in the truth" and my parents were very emotionally/verbally abusive.

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  Granny Linda

  Hi, Kittens. Welcome.

  Thank you for sharing so much of your story with us. It's helps, that's for sure not only you, but us.

  I used to hear in A.A. (yeah, that's where I was introduced to recovery) that suicide was a permanant solution to a temporary problem. And since that time I've learned there is a more positive solution; although I, too, have had my bouts with depression and suicidal thoughts.

  I'm so very glad you posted. That's what this forum is about...sharing our experience and hope for a brighter tomorrow. And it does come. One thing other former drunks would always say, "It ain't easy, but it does get better." Boy, I'm sure glad no one ever told me it would be easy...but ya know, with time it does get easier. Easier, in my opinion, once we find that inner strength, it's easier dealing with life as it comes. And sometimes that means cutting off negative association - from whatever source it originates.

  When I was in 7th grade I walked out of art class saying I was going to kill myself. I was desperate, lonely, frightened, and just plain unhappy with everything going on in my life. Actually I was just going home early for lunch, but the cops meant me half way because the teachers did take heed. Of course the only place my mom took me was before the elders. More of the same old shit.

  My mom would wait until her anger was so great that she would pick up the nearest object and begin hitting any one of us. How very, very sad for any child growing up in such sickness. This whole JW thing tork's my pistle. And that's stating it mildly.

  Here, too, I could write pages, but I'll end by saying again that I'm happy for any of us who have survived untold misery at the hands of abusive parents. Religious abuse is very real. Not just with JW's, but other groups as well. Once I got a handle on my drinking, the religious abuse issues came into play.

  It's not about blame, you're right. But parents have accountability. Now that we are the adult, it is our responsibility to seek healing...and sharing is a part of that process. Besides, as I've already stated, you help us perhaps more than we help you. It's a reminder of Gratitude.

  Gawd, this old lady in A.A. would preach Gratitude at just about every meeting!And as life goes, I've learned over these past 16 years just how magical such expressions are.

  Thank you for being here for us.

  And for all the new posters that I've ignored too long...WELCOME

  granny linda
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  7

  Feelings & Disagreements

  by Megaera in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i noticed something that was said on another thread, and it's off the topic of the particular thread, so i'm giving it a spot of its own.i think that's the source of a lot of our problems when it comes to race ignorance of others' feelings as well as pent-up hurt feelings that need to get out.. .

  those are very intelligent words, and i believe they go beyond the issue of race.

  they can probably be applied to every disagreement between any two people anywhere on the planet.

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  Granny Linda

  This topic reminds me of one particular A.A. meeting where someone was sharing a problem; just expressing their inner turmoil, etc., when they were told by a long timer "get off the pity pot." Ya know it was behavior like that which helped me make a clean break after five years.

  And of course if someone chose a different avenue for recovery, not embracing the 12-Steps of A.A., there was a lot of judgement such as, "well, they just aren't ready yet to get sober."

  Granny
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  41

  In Your Opinion, What Is The Purpose Of This Board?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my understanding is that this board can serve as a place to come so that jw's and ex-jw's can get together to discuss mostly, jw issues as well as matters such as our likes and dislikes of a non-religious nature.

  since there are so many posters here, could you please express what you think this place is for?

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  Granny Linda

  Until two years ago I really did not know about these type forums. And for reasons already touched upon, I didn't stick around one particular forum to long because the whole topics (or so it seemed at the time) was about who did who in bed, seriously. I cannot recall really any conversation about "recovery" so I just left. Of course being politically incorrect by nature, that didn't help.

  Since that time though I've learned about internet sensitivities; which I still have at times. I'm not looking to get jumped on for expressing an opinion that I know will be taken by the posting majority as an opening to belittle and shame someone because they disagree.

  SO, I keep coming back to any forum because I've learned much. Peodiphile, UN, families torn apart by shunning, total hyprocisy of that filthy religion, the list goes on and on. And yes, on occasion to rant and rave, too.

  Just like in "real life" there are those you develop a like towards...and those you don't. Overall I think this forum is a good place to come and share. And as already mentioned, find some humor with some not so humorous circumstances. Or, too remember life doesn't have to be so damn serious all the time.

  good topic.

  granny
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  7

  Brother (elder) Sister (pioneer) hid my leaving should they be punished

  by run dont walk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i left the borg after a 5 year struggle at home.

  the best way for me to leave was to move across the country from east to west, (still wasn't far enough), i was unemployed at the time and had no real opportunities, so my girlfriend at the time (not a jo-ho)(who my family never met) and i headed out west.

  now, i returned home about 3 years later when my dad past away, and at the funeral, people were coming up to me asking me how the west was and how was my new congregation, can you believe this.

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  Granny Linda

  One thing I'll always believe about the JW's...they cannot tolerate truth.

  "Be true to thine self."

  "You arent' going to please all of the people all of the time."

  "Don't let the bastards get you down."

  "F*** em!"

  granny, of the "I don't care what my JW family thinks, class.
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  8

  New experience for me..advice, anyone?

  by zanex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been out of touch with pretty much all of the old jw's that i used to hang around with while in new mexico.

  i have been informed that one of those jw's that oddly enough happens to be related to my roommate that i am currently living with is coming to town and i have also been told that he is trying to leave the org and doesnt want to be any part of it anymore but he still has a lot of family in the religion...another twist anyone?

  oh yeah he also is "coming out" he is gay.

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  Granny Linda

  I was taught that recovery is about sharing our experience, strength and hope. And as already mentioned, allowing the other person to talk. Gawd knows we need to purge a lot of garbage to someone who isn't sitting in judgement of us.

  Years ago I remember how at an AA retreat this gal came from out of state in hopes of finding someone she could purge her past with. Sad, but true, often times we cannot do this necessary step in our own communties because people do/will gossip.

  So while you may be experiencing some hesitation yourself, perhaps this man has unnamed fears too. Trust is a two-way street. Be that good listener and try not to project into the situation undue negativity, as in the "what if" syndrome.

  I, too, was quite cautious when it came time to share those deep dark secrets of my past. But when I found someone I thought could be trusted and began talking, time seemed to literally stand still. I'll be eternally grateful for that woman who listened to me as I purged the old demons. And those words will never pass my lips again...until it's time to share with someone else who is suffering as I suffered.

  People come into our lives for reasons that may not always be clear from the on-set. And you don't have to "like" the person, but understand they are reaching out for help. And remain true to your own boundaries...and you'll instintively know.

  just my thoughts.

  granny
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  8

  What works for me?

  by Anne in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i remembered something that was in my consiousness from back in the day.

  i went to the door of a very nice home and was greeted by a nice person.

  i presented the usual rehearsed salespitch and she said the oddest thing, "i tried jehovah's witness once, it just didn't work for me.

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  Granny Linda

  Like in the movie, "What about Bob?" where he is taking those Baby Steps to recovery. Funny movie.

  I remember AA would talk about "fake it till you make it" and then one day I realized it wasn't pretending. I'd overcome so much negative thinking. I'd actually become the person I wanted to be rather than remain mentally chained to an idealogy that didn't belong to me.

  Never give up on learning no matter where life take you. And what works today might not work tomorrow because we continue to evolve and change. Recovery is a process. Sometimes it seems slow in coming, but if we are persistant the rewards are too numerous to list.

  I stopped looking for the burning bush, so to speak, and realized that often times it's those seemingly insignificant situations that mount up to something so blessed and wonderful.

  I'm glad no one ever told me recovery would be easy. Yet on the flip side, it does get easier. Takes practice and patience.

  Wishing you well,

  granny
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  3

  I found my best friend in the JW org

  by Freedomrules in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i owe my life to a woman named alle, who is my best friend in the whole wide world.

  when i was 14, the wife of one of the elders in my congregation decided she should study with me (i was 15 when i baptized) and this woman used to warn me about a sister in a neighboring congregation who was demonized (despite being a regular pioneer), telling me to stay away from her.

  the sister in the neighboring cong was alle.

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  Granny Linda

  Enjoy your visit. While many people will cross paths with us, some will always hold a special spot in our hearts.

  granny